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.. Scénář - 51. epizoda - Komedie s mrtvolou (Dead Guy Running) ..

[Squad Room]

Welsh: 'Scuse me. Carry on. (Bangs into Dewey's desk) Ow.

Dewey: Sorry sir.

Welsh: Is Vecchio back yet?

Dewey: He wouldn't go.

Welsh: I told you to take him to the hospital.

Dewey: He wouldn't go!

Welsh: What's that?

Dewey: What's what?

Welsh: Your eye.

Dewey: I took a perp. What happened to your thumb?

Welsh: Never mind.

Frannie: Sir, they got him. Kuzma. They got him.

Welsh: Yeah!

(Ray enters, with bandage round ear.)

Welsh: They got Kuzma. Huey's bringing him in now.

Ray: Five minutes alone with him is all I want.

Welsh: How's your ear?

Ray: I'll live. Just five minutes.

Welsh: You're off the case.

Ray: I'm off the case? Why, what, why, what, why?

Welsh: Dewey's collar now.

Ray: Look, Kuzma was my collar. I had him.

Welsh: Yeah, you had him and you lost him.

Ray: But he practically bit my ear off!

Welsh: Exactly, now go home.

Ray: There's nothing wrong with me.

Welsh: Oh yeah? You're fine, yeah? Then make yourself useful. When the feds find out we got Kuzma, they're gonna turn this into a circus, alright? Let's see how fast you can clear this room out.

Ray: How about a general amnesty? No? Okay. Stanley Smith, you are our next contestant on "Prison Life". Come on down. You Stanley Smith? You Stan-okay, you stay cuffed to the chair all day.

Stanley: Yeah, yeah, alright, it's me. Cool. Cuffs are starting to hurt. Yo, what happened to your ear man?

Ray; I asked too many stupid questions like that.

Stanley: Ah right. (He makes a dash for the door)

Fraser: (Grabbing Stanley) Whoa, settle down son.

Stanley: Yo man, what are you?

Fraser: I'm a Canadian.

Ray: Thanks Fraser.

Fraser: No problem Ray. What happened to your ear?

Ray: It's a long story. Michael Johnson here goes into number one.

Fraser: Oh, just a second. (Removes cigarette from a man's mouth) Sorry sir, this is a non-smoking environment. (Man protest this unintelligibly) You know Ray, that thing with your ear kind of reminds me of a wrestling match I once saw in Great Slave Lake where Yukon John actually bit off Haystack Calhoun's ear, although my friend Innusiq, who knew such things, said it was entirely fake, ad that the next night Haystack Calhoun would bite off Yukon John's ear.

Ray: What is the point of that story?

Fraser: It's just an ear anecdote.

Ray: Look, they are taking my collar. Adolf Kuzma is my collar.

Stanley: Yo yo man, what's up? You guys for real?

Ray: Hey, we ask the tough questions around here. Keep your feet off the table and shut up homes(?). Alright-possession of burglary tools, attempted theft auto, apprehended inside '95 Mercedes 280 SL.

Stanley: I was just looking for a place to sleep, that's all.

Ray: So you broke into a $100,000 car.

Stanley: Yeah, I did. Get me my lawyer.

Ray: Oh, you got no place to sleep, but you got a lawyer on retainer. That's a good one.

(Ray sees Kuzma being brought in through window)

Ray: Kuzma, you little freak show, come on, come on.

(Ray goes to attack Kuzma, and is restrained by Welsh. He goes back to Interview 1 and punches through the wall.)

Fraser: Alright?

Ray: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(Fraser pulls away part of wall and sees a body hidden there)

Ray: What's going on?

Fraser: Oh dear.


(Fraser and Ray are carrying the body out of the wall)

Fraser: Careful Ray, careful.

Ray: Like I'm gonna hurt him?

Fraser: No you're standing on my foot. Let's set him down.

(Dief barks at Stanley, who is heading for the door.)

Fraser: Whoa. I'd sit down son-sit down slowly. Sudden movements set him off.

Stanley: Okay.

(Fraser removes dead guy from bag he is in)

Fraser: Hmm.

Ray: You know the guy?

Fraser: No, I don't believe so.

Ray: What's with the 'hmm'?

Fraser: It's just an interesting smell.

Stanley: You guys look a little busy, y'know what I'm sayin', why don't I just split?

Ray: Look, shut up and sit down, or you go in the wall.

Stanley: Yeah right, okay.

Ray: Alright, I'm gonna go get Welsh.

Fraser: Why?

Ray: Well obviously, we got a dead body here.

Fraser: Oh, right you are.

(Frannie enters, and drops her files)

Frannie: Oh my god, oh my god, he killed him, oh my god.

(She runs out of room)

Fraser: Give me five minutes.

Ray: Five.

Stanley: Hey listen, alright, I know my rights, I ain't got to stay in no room with no dead guy.

Ray: No you don't, we can take you down to the cage, and you can stay in with the skinheads, the crackheads, and the bikers who're dustin'. You prefer that?

Stanley: I'm cool.

[Frannie and Fraser in corridor]

Frannie: His name is Guy Rankin. He's from the neighbourhood. We heard that he was into a lot of bad stuff, but you hear a lot of things. He was okay he was-he was kind of funny, actually, he used to do these impressions of, you know, Mr Frank Sinatra and stuff. Anyway, one night he asked me out for a drink. I thought we were going out for a drink, but he thought we were going out for *a drink*. We got outside the house, and I could handle him at first, 'cause, you know, he couldn't keep his hands off me, but then he really started to hurt me, and that's when Ray came outside. He just went crazy. He was like, um, Sonny in the Godfather, remember, when Sonny found out that his sister Connie was being beaten up by Carlo? Ray was just like that. I had to pull him off so that Guy could get out. Anyway, after that he was just waiting for Guy to make a mistake, and when he found out that he was shaking down some of the local merchants he hauled him in.

Fraser: And you think Ray killed him?

(Frannie nods)

Fraser: What makes you think that?

Frannie: Because he said he was going to.

[Back in the interview room]

Stanley: Man, man, what is that smell?

Ray: Dead guy. They smell.

Stanley: Nah nah nah, not that smell.

(Fraser enters)

Fraser: It's shellac. It's made out of bugs. It's very effective as a wood treatment for protecting wood pilings from the effects of permafrost.

Ray: Fraser, what the hell is going on?

Stanley: Yeah Fraser.

Fraser: Ray, may I have a word with you in private?

Ray:(to Stanley)You sit there.

Stanley: No no no, I ain't gonna sit in no room with no dead guy.(?) This is America and I know my rights.

Ray: Oh, they always know their rights. What about the rights of the guy with the Mercedes?

Stanley: He don't need no rights. He got a Mercedes.

Ray: Sit there.


Ray: Look, I didn't kill the guy, the real Ray Vecchio killed the guy.

Fraser: No, I didn't say he killed him, I said he was a suspect.

Ray: Well, pass it over to internal affairs, and let them sort it out.

Fraser: No, I'm afraid I can't do that Ray, because if internal affairs investigates-

(Ray is distracted by woman walking past)

Fraser. Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray. If internal affairs investigates, they will undoubtedly discover that you are not the real Ray Vecchio

Ray: Maybe. Personally I don't give them that much credit.

Fraser, Well, perhaps, but lets just say it becomes public that you're not the real Ray Vecchio. That will probably put the real Ray Vecchio's life at risk.

Ray: Well, what am I supposed to say? Better him than me?

Fraser: No, of course not.

Ray: What are we supposed to do?

Fraser: I am suggesting that we don't report the body.

Ray: Oh Fraser, you are talking about suppressing the evidence.

Fraser: No, delaying-

Ray: -suppressing-

Fraser: -delaying, delaying reporting the body to give us enough time to find the real killer.

Ray: You're not playing with a full mukluk Fraser. How long do you think we can keep a dead body hidden in a police station?

Fraser: Well if you could hang onto that room at least until the end of your shift-

(Welsh appears)

Welsh: Oh, a little coffee break.

Ray: No sir.

Fraser: No, we're just...strategising.

Welsh: I need that room.

Ray: The kid's just starting to open up.

Welsh: Oh good, good, I'll wait until the movie come out. Get rid of him.

(Fraser follows Welsh to his office)

Fraser: Sir, I wonder if I could perhaps have a word with you?

Welsh: I am very busy, Constable.

Fraser: I understand that sir, but it is extremely important.

Welsh: *sighs* What is it?

Fraser: Well sir, I have a hypothetical question.

Welsh: Oh great, hypothetical and important.

Fraser: Well, some questions can be both.

(They enter the office)

If the need were to arise sir, to speak to Ray Vecchio, the real Ray Vecchio, in person, would that be possible?

Welsh: If Ray Vecchio's mother were on her deathbed, and her last dying wish was to see her son's face again, hear his voice one last time, I would send the new Ray Vecchio. Does that answer your question?

Fraser: Yes sir. What happened to your thumb?

Welsh: Never mind.

(Fraser goes into squad room and Frannie gives him a picture of Rankin)

Frannie: Okay, I printed this off, but I looked for the file, I can't find it anywhere, by name, by date, nothing.

Fraser: Are you sure he was booked?

Frannie: Yeah, I'm positive. Oh, but I did find this. You were right.

Fraser: Thank you. Will you keep looking for the other files?

Frannie: Yeah, of course.

Fraser: Thank you kindly Francesca.

Frannie: Uh, Fraser? About what I told you before, you won't tell anybody?

Fraser: No, no, of course not.

Frannie: Okay. It's just that those things are really kind of personal to me and I hope that you won't think any less of me.

Fraser: No

Frannie: I just felt I could really talk to you, y'know. I don't know, I guess I thought talking to a Mountie from Canada is like talking to a priest.

Fraser: Well no, not exactly.

Frannie: I mean, not that I think of you as a priest 'cause I don't. I think of you-I think of you as a man.

Fraser: Ah.

Frannie: Not that priests aren't men, it's just that priests can't do certain things.

Fraser: Well, not necessarily, you know there was a Father McAuley of Ford Asinaboye, and he once tracked a cougar for five weeks and 300 miles-

Frannie: No Fraser, no, those aren't exactly the things I'm referring to.

Fraser: Oh. Oh, I see. Right. Um. *clears throat* 'Scuse me.

Frannie: Fraser, is my brother gonna be okay?

Fraser: Oh yes, sure, sure.

[Interview 1]

Stanley: Can't be doin' this man. Can't just ?home? me, know what I'm sayin'. That's what they do to people in them places like Sweden, and Canada, and all of them other torture places.

Ray: Hey look, I play by my own rules, kind of a wild card, kinda kooky. Now you wanna help me?

Stanley: Alright. Ain't gotta shout. Woo! How long you think he been like that?

(Fraser enters)

Fraser: 92 days.

Ray: How would you know that?

Fraser: There was electrical work done in here 92 days ago, that's when the wall went up.

Ray: So somebody killed him, shellacked him so he wouldn't rot, and then stuck him in a wall?

Fraser: Surprisingly effective. Looks almost as good as new.

Ray: You got a file on him?

Fraser: No, that's what's intriguing. There are no files.

Ray: So, Vecchio had them destroyed.

Fraser: Ray Vecchio didn't do this.

Ray: How can you be so sure?

Fraser: Because the plastic was sucked into the man's mouth and his throat. That means he was alive when they put him in the wall.

Stanley: Whoa man.

Fraser: Ray Vecchio's not capable of an act so monstrous, so hideous. So repulsive to the human condition. Can I borrow your car?

Ray: Why?

Fraser: Well, in the absence of any other leads, and time being the factor that it is, I think it expedient that I have a talk with a Mr DeNardo.

Ray: Who?

Fraser: He owns the company that did the dry walling.

Ray: Take a shortcut. I don't know how long I can keep the room.

Fraser: Understood. Oh, it's?

Ray: (miming actions with hands) Brake, gas. Brake, gas. Careful.

(Fraser leaves. There is a thump on the wall from next door.)

Ray: Oh, that's just one of my fellow officers interviewing a suspect.

[Interview 2]

Dewey: How long do you cook a 14lb turkey?

(Welsh enters)

Welsh: What's going on?

Dewey: Ask him a question. Any question.

Welsh: Is your name Kuzma? General Adolf Kuzma of the American Patriots Army?

(Kuzma slams head on table)

Welsh: Ah, nice try scumbag, but I'm not gonna make you look better for the Feds. You and your psycho army, you think you can go around blowing up banks and shooting cops, yeah? Think our laws don't apply to you? Well you better thank God for those laws; it's the only thing keeping you alive. Nice face. Tell me something. Five weeks ago the Feds had you surrounded at Diamondback Ridge, but you escaped. It was a miracle. What, you make a deal with the Feds? You think they're gonna waltz in here and save you? I got news for you. You killed a Chicago cop. You're not gonna leave here, ever, until they put a needle in your arm.

Dewey: He might enjoy that sir.

Welsh: There. Go clean him up. Just keep asking him questions. Huey!

[Welsh and Huey in corridor]

Welsh: Did he say anything in there? Did he ask for a lawyer?

Huey: No. I think he's going for insanity.

(Frannie appears in corridor)

Frannie: Sir, FBI's on the phone.

Welsh: Alright. See if you can locate the whereabouts of Assistant State's Attorney Kowalski.

(Frannie leaves)

Welsh: Alright, the games begin. See if you can get him talking about something doesn't matter. If we can get him started, it'll give us reason to keep the Feds out.

Huey: I don't think he's gonna say anything.

Welsh: Get him talking.

Huey: Okay.

(Welsh knocks on door of Interview 1. Ray appears)

Welsh: Look, I imagine the Feds, within the hour, will be here to see our friend Kuzma. I want to be privy to that conversation from in there. I need this room.

Ray: Yes sir.

[Front Desk]

Desk Sergeant: (on phone) You didn't know? Margaret Moynahan told me. Well she heard it from Jerry Kovacks. Yeah.

(Fraser shows officer picture of Rankin)

Desk Sergeant: So what did he do anyway?

Fraser: Well we're not sure exactly. But if you could just cast your mind back 92 days ago.

Desk Sergeant: 92 days ago? That would be Tuesday night, wouldn't it?

Fraser: Yes

Desk Sergeant: See, I know that because Darlene Carmichael in accounting, she had her baby three months premature, and I was just saying to Laurie in personnel how the spicy pizza we had at the shower (which was on the Tuesday night) probably induced the contractions, you know, causing the premature labour.

Fraser: Yes, I'm quite sure you're right. About the man in the picture-?

Desk Sergeant: Oh, yeah. Let me think about it.

Fraser: Right. Thank you kindly.

Desk Sergeant: No problem. Listen, if I come up with anything, I'll give you a call. (Into phone) District 27?

[Fraser goes out to Ray's car]

Fraser: (To Dief) Back. Back. In the- Oh.

(Fraser Sr. coughs, and Fraser turns round.)

Fraser Sr.: You're getting roped in, son.

Fraser: Look, I know what you're thinking, ordinarily I would agree, but these are very special circumstances.

Fraser Sr: Oh, they always are, but concealing evidence in a murder investigation? I thought I taught you how to uphold the law.

Fraser: And I will.

Fraser Sr: When?

Fraser: Later today.

Fraser Sr: You've got to live by the principles you protect. Otherwise everything caves in, like an igloo during spring thaw.

Fraser: Look, I know what I'm doing Dad. You just have to trust me.

Fraser Sr: Oh no, that's where you're wrong. I don't have to trust anyone anymore. I'm dead. But you've got to trust yourself. One step in the wrong direction and it snowballs. Next thing you'll be lying to cover your tracks. And when cops are involved, gets even uglier. I was gunned down by one of my own on my own turf,well, ice cap. Remember?

Fraser: I remember.

Fraser Sr: I trusted Gerrard for the better part of thirty years. It wasn't easy to accept what he had become.

Fraser: Ray didn't kill anybody.

Fraser Sr: If that's true, then stay within the law.

Fraser: I don't have any choice.

Fraser Sr: That's where you're wrong.

Fraser: You want to know something Dad-

(Turns around to find Fraser Sr. has disappeared.)

Great. (To Dief) Look, I'm sorry I shouted at you, I didn't realise he was back there. Alright, here we go.

(Reverses and almost crashes)

Brake gas, no, gas brake, gas brake.

[DeNardo's worksite]

DeNardo: (On phone) Yeah Frank, don't worry about it, I mean if he gets sick, he gets sick. Nothing you can do about it. Yeah, take a coupla days off. Alright. See ya then.

(To secretary)Marilyn, wanna do me a favour? Mangioni's kid's sick. You wanna send over a teddy bear or something?

Marilyn: Frank's kid is 14.

DeNardo: Well send her something.

Marilyn: Okay.

DeNardo: (To Fraser) Who are you?

Fraser: Good day, my name is Constable Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, I first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my father...

(Hooting of truck horn)

DeNardo: Maurice! No! You wanna go in Row B!

Fraser: It's not really important sir. What is important is that 3 months ago you did some renovations, dry walling to be exact, at Chicago PD District 27. I wonder if it would be possible for me to speak to the men who did that job.

DeNardo: You must be joking. I can't remember 3 months ago, I got 18 crews out there today.

Fraser: It's very important sir.

DeNardo: Okay. You give me the name of your tailor, and I'll give you the number.

(Into phone)Listen, pull up a file, Chicago PD, about 3 months ago.

(To Fraser) Is there a prblem or something? I mean I got no calls, nobody's complained or anything.

Fraser: No, it's strictly routine sir. Bo you, by any chamce, recognize this man? (He shows him a picture of Rankin.)

DeNardo: Is he one of the guys? To tell you the truth, I don't recognize anybody that works for me, my friend. Here we go. It's nice, huh? (Referring to secretary who gave them the file.) Here we are, Tom Harvey was the foreman, the crew he never listed, Tom, well lots of times we pick up guys at the local hospitals, give them a day's work, hod carriers and such, outs a little money in their pockets, know what I mean?

Fraser: Well, do youknow where I can contact this Mr Harvey?

DeNardo: Had to let him go. Last time I heard, he was one of those ?? going into the ?? and he's probably long gone by now. Anyway, Marilyn can give you the address if you want, I gotta get back, and get that dog out of here. (To workmen) Lou! You don't understand English?!?

[Interview 1]

(Frannie opens the door)

Frannie: Hi. (Gives Ray a file.) I'm not gonna come in if that's okay. Where is he?

Ray: Behind the door.

Frannie: Okay. I found the Rankin file misplaced way back.

Ray: Assistant State's Attorney Stella Kowalski? It was Stella's case?

Frannie: Is Fraser back?

Ray: No.

Frannie: Ray didn't do this.

(Ray shuts door.)

Stanley: Hoo yeah. Hey, let me ask you something. She said, 'Ray didn't do this'?

Ray: Right.

Stanley: But I thought you were Ray.

Ray: Like there's only one Stanley Smith in the world?

Stanley: Yeah, that's true. She's a babe though, huh, ?foul? lady.#

Ray: Hey! That's my sister.

Stanley:Oh!.I'm sorry, I didn't know.

Ray: (Reading Rankin's file)Extortion. Carrying a concealed weapon. Resisting arrest. And he walks?

Stanley: Yeah well, like me, you probably had no evidence.

Ray: Eyewitness testimony. Marked bills. Wire tap. This is as good as it gets. How the hell do you walk on charges like that?

Stanley: You asking me?

Ray: D'you wanna help me, or do you wanna stare at the dead guy all day?

Stanley: Yeah, that's true. Alright. Check this out. Maybe he got off on one of those technicalities.

Ray: Yeah yeah yeah like...

Stanley: Uh.

Ray: I mean, he was here on the day that the wall went up and he got a walk.

Stanley: Well yo, he didn't walk too far, you know what I'm sayin'!

(Knock on door-Ray opens it and sees Stella)

Stella: Ray. i was looking for Lieutenant Welsh. What happened to your ear?

Ray: Nothing. You're here for Kuzma?

Stella: Yes.

Ray: That was my collar.

Stella: i heard it was Huey's. Oh my God, what is that smell?

Stanley: Hey, how you doin'. We haven't been introduced, my name is Stanley Smith, I been working on a case with Ray here.

Ray: Detective Smith?

Stanley: Yeah?

Ray: Sit down.

Stanley: Okay. I go over here.

Stella: See you later Ray.

(Ray follows Stella into corridor)

Ray: Stella?

Stella: I'm working Ray.

Ray: This is about work. Remember a few months ago you handled a case, a guy named Guy Rankin. Vecchio and Huey were the arresting officers. Extortion, concealed weapon, and the guy walked. You remember anything about that? This is nice.

Stella: Yeah I do. They failed to read him his rights.

Ray: Vecchio and Huey screwed up on the miranda? You believe that?

Stella: All I know is Rankin said they didn't read him his rights and they agreed. Maybe the fact that Ray Vecchio used his face as a punching bag had something to do with it. I don't know. I gotta go.

[Interview 1]

Stanley: (Wearing Fraser's stetson) Yo, man. What's up, scout?

Ray: What do you think you're doing? The hat's sacred, okay? (Grabs the hat)

Stanley: Yo man, just joking around. Hey yo, you know that girl man, she's a babe, what's up?

Ray: She's my wife.

Stanley: Ah man, you realy know how to pick 'em.

Ray: My EX-wife.

Stanley: Whoo, I can see you're the man to get to know around here.

(There is a thud and a scream. Ray runs out to interview 2. Stella is standing at the door while Dewey and Welsh shout at Kuzma. Huey runs out holding his jaw.)

Ray: Huey, I gotta ask you something

Huey: Let it go, Vecchio.

Ray: Back in there. (Pushes Stanley back into room)

[In bathroom]

Ray: Hey, how can you not remember 3 months ago? You, Vecchio, Guy Rankin. He was released. You forgot to read him his rights. Look, I found the file Jack.

Huey: What the hell is the matter with you? You trying to get a job in Internal Affairs or something?

Ray: I'm gonna let that pass. Once.

Huey: Look, Ray Vecchio had some personal thing with Rankin. I did'nt know. I didn't ask. All I know is that Rankin walked out of here in one piece, now no one's seen him since. Guys like him go missin'.

[Squad Room. Fraser enters]

Frannie: Fraser, the FBI's here and Welsh wants the room. We have to move him.

Fraser: Understood.

[Interview 1]

(Ray is putting up a poster over the hole)

Ray: (About poster) She's no Rita Hayworth, but she gets the job done.

Fraser: (Whilst preparing Rankin to be moved) You know Ray, I had anothr friend, well, aquaintance really, anyway, one day he was fishing and he ripped off his ear with a hula popper. (To Stanley) Coat please. Anyway, he was able to sew it back on with some 8lb teslon filament, unfortunately he sewed it on backwards, and from that day forwards he claimed he was dyslexic.

Ray: What is the point of that story Fraser, I don't get it.

Fraser: There is nothing to get Ray, it's just another ear anecdote.

Ray: (Fake laughter) Hehehe. Cool. Glasses. Where the hell are we putting him?

Fraser: Well, if you want to hide an apple, you don't put it in a bag full of golf balls.

Ray: Glasses, glasses. Cooler downstairs.

Fraser: Right.

Stanley: No no, that wasn't part of the deal.

Ray: Well, I'm changing the deal.

Stanley:Oh yeah, well I'm changing the deal. Yo, yo, we got a dead guy in here!

(Runs for door. Fraser and Ray grab him)

Ray: Shut up.

Stanley: What you gonna do, hit me?

Fraser: He's got a point Ray.

Ray: Alright, I'll make you a deal. You help us with him, you walk, no charges.

Stanley: Not good enough.

(Yells and is grabbed again)

Ray: What do you want?

(Mumbles something, and Fraser and Ray remove their hands.)

Stanley: I want you all to deputise me.

(Door opens and Frannie brings in wheelchair)

Frannie: Come on, let's go.

Fraser: Alright, 1, 2, 3. (Fraser and Ray lift Rankin into wheelchair) The legs.

(Frannie bends legs to chair0

Ray: Ugh.

Frannie: I can debone a whole chicken in under 3 minutes. Okay, let's go.

(She pushes chair down corridor.)

When I'm dead, no-one's rolling me around in funny outfits.

Fraser: Mr Smith, would you get the elevator. It's Welsh.

Frannie: Oh God.

Fraser: Francesca! (Pushes the chair towards her.)

Welsh: Vecchio! Where's your prisoner?

Ray: Uh, in the can sir.

Welsh: We'll set up right in here.

(Welsh goes into Interview 1)

Ray: Look, this is stupid Fraser. It's not gonna work. How the hell can you think this is gonna work?

Fraser: Just stay the course. Ray Vecchio's life may well depend on what we do here today. God speed. (He runs off.)

Ray: God speed. Smith!

[Interview 1]

(Welsh enters)

Welsh: What is this? Did a bomb go off in here?

(Goes to door0


(Frannie is pushing Rankin down corridor)

Frannie: Move it or lose it!

Welsh: Francesca!

(Puts chair in alcove and runs to Welsh. Fraser appears)

Fraser: Where is he?

Frannie: Round the corner.

(He walks down corridor)

Shout from off-camera: Call for you Sergeant? Something about giblets?

Desk Sergeant: Oh, there'll be no parking spot for Nicky at NASA.

Man in wedding dress: Ooh, red.

(Fraser finds Rankin in break room sat at a table with a strange man.)

Man: I've never even been in the freakin' woods!

Fraser: 'Scuse me. (Grabs chair.)

Man: Hey! We were just talking! He was trying to get me to go on ???.

Fraser: Good idea.

Man: Hey! I'll see ya pal, I'll call! So long, buddy!

(Ray and Stanley approach Fraser)

Ray: We gotta wait for 10 minutes. Feds are in the room.

Stanley: Man, you should see the size of their gun!

Fraser: Hang on for 15 minutes, then call.

(Fraser takes Rankin into the toilet stall. Welsh walks in and sees Fraser standing on toilet.)

Welsh: I'll be right with you. Fraser?

Fraser: Yes sir?

Welsh: I guess they do these things a little differently where you're from.

Fraser: In what sense sir? (Flushes toilet)

Welsh: Never mind.

Fraser: Sir, I wonder if I could ask you a question?

Welsh: Yeah, be quick.

Fraser: It involves - well, it's a case involving Ray Vecchio sir.

Welsh: What is it with you and Ray Vecchio today?

Fraser: Well nothing sir, as a matter of fact this does actually involve the former Ray Vecchio and a man named Guy Rankin.

Welsh: Leave that one alone Fraser.

Fraser: Why is that sir?

Welsh: It almost cost Vecchio his badge. He almost did time. The only reason he's still a cop is that this Guy Rankin disappeared and it's best he stays disappeared. Oh God, what, did something die in here? Better lay off those mooseburgers.

Fraser: Yes sir.

[Front desk. Fraser is giving Rankin a piggyback.]

Desk Sergeant: No no, you're thinking of a capon. Constable Fraser!

Fraser: Yes sergeant?

Desk Sergeant:Listen, I've been thinking about what you asked me earlier, did I see Rankin leaving the station that night? (In phone) No no, that would be the bantam rooster! Well I did. I've been thinking about it and I did, I definitely saw him leaving.

Fraser: You're sure it was him?

Desk Sergeant: Oh yes, that's right, that would be the guinea hen! He was one of those kinda guys, you know, kinda different looking, odd-like? I don't forget a face like that.

Fraser: Right, well, thankyou. You've been very helpful.

Desk sergeant: Any time. What's wrong with him?

Fraser: Oh nothing, he's sleepy.

Frannie: Really sleepy.

[Interview 2]

Ford: Come on, come on Adolf, talk to me.

Dieter: Maybe we should just hand him back over to the Chicago PD. YOu killed one of theirs sonny boy, they're dying to get their hands on you.

Ford: You want us to help you, you got to give us something.

Dieter: Alright, now look. We let you walk last month on condition you give up your partners, not so you could go shoot a cop. Now we can help you with that, but you've gotta guaranteethat no one finds out about our deal and you have got to tell us about your partners.

[Interview 1-Welsh is watching agents through hidden camerea]

Welsh: Go get Assistant State's Attorney Kowalski fast!


Ray: So you can go. That was the deal, that was the deal so you can go, so go.

Stanley: Okay, but I gotta make that call.

Ray: No, I make the call.

Stanley: But you said I could make the call.

Ray:No no no.

Stanley: Yes you did.

Ray: No, you said you were gonna make the call, I just didn't say no.

Stanley: So what, that's the same thing as saying yes.

Ray: No it isn't that's the same thing as ignoring you. (Pause) Okay, make the call.

Stanley: Yeah, alright! What's that number again?

(Fraser and Frannie carry Rankin to the morgue)

Mort: (To corpse) Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back.

(Fraser and Frannie enter and out Rankin on gurney. They hide behind it as Mort returns.)

Fraser Sr: Now you're in a pickle.

Fraser: Oh, this is just what I need.

Frannie: Well you don't have to snap at me!

Mort: Now we proceed with - we continue with the scrapings under the nails of the left hand.

Fraser Sr: These people look dismal. Well of course I watch what I eat. Do my callisthenics. Get plenty of fresh air.

Fraser: At least they know their place.

Frannie: Well what's that supposed to mean?

Fraser: Nothing, nothing, I'm sorry.

Frannie: That's okay. I'm kinda on edge too.

Fraser: You are?

Frannie: Yeah, actually I find this kind of thrilling.

Fraser Sr: Carpe diem, son.

Frannie: I mean thrilled I guess is the word, short of breath, I mean it's so forbidden!

Fraser Sr: I like it.

Fraser: Oh yeah, well some people, some dead people, they are exciting. Some dead people are not exciting.

Mort: Who's that?

Frannie: Uh, it's me Mort. Constable Fraser just wanted to see the morgue.

Mort: Well it's a good day. We have a full house.T raffic jam. A postal worker gone totally berserk. I don't know what's with the postal department. What drives perfectly good people to desperate acts? How hard can it be delivering mail? See you around.

(Fraser and Francesca leave)

Mort: Now we are going to go to the right hand.

(He takes scrapings from Fraser Sr.'s hand. They sing together.)


Ray: How's your kisser?

Huey: Okay. Your ear?

Ray: Okay. Feds still talking to Kuzma?

Huey: Yeah. Listen, the Vecchio thing you were talking about earlier? Vecchio didn't do Rankin.

Fraser: How can you be so sure?

Huey: Lt. Welsh made us follow up on it. We talked to his landlord, he said he saw Rankin a couple of days after we released him, when he went around to collect his rent.

Stanley: Man, a couple of days after the walls went up? That's a pretty neat trick, huh guys?

Huey: What's he talking about, what walls?

Ray: Kid's a psycho.

Huey: Yeah, you oughta be in the bucket.

Fraser: Did he say who the landlord was?

Huey: Offhand, I don't remember his name, but he was the same guy that did the renovations on the interview rooms. He owns a building over in Losca street.

Fraser: He lied to me.

Ray: The in itself does not prove anything.

Fraser: Shows he has a guilty conscience.

Ray: Let's get him in here, mess with his head.

Stanley: Yeah, you guys are so cool!

[Interview 1]

Welsh: This sorta puts things in a whole different light, wouldn't you say?

Stella: Obviously agents Ford and Dieter were not aware this interview was being taped.

Welsh: Well, I didn't want to make them self-conscious, you know, candid camera approach.

[Squad room]

Ray: It appears that Mr DeNardo has priors, assault on a couple of his tenants.

Fraser: He's coming in.

Ray: What'd you tell him?

Fraser: well it pains me to admit it, but I lied to him.

Ray: Oh, nothing happened did it?You weren't struck by lighting, the sky didn't fall in?

Fraser: Well not yet, but it might have, it might well be the start of a slippery slope.

Ray: Oh yes, I believe you're going to hell in a ahndcart.

Desk Sergeant: Oh listen, the fellow you were with earlier, what was his name?

Fraser: His name was Guy...(Looks at Ray)

Ray: ...Lombardo.

Desk Sergeant: Doesn't ring a bell.

Stella: It's illegally obtained evidence. They had a reasonable expectation of privacy ion that room. No judge in the state will allow it.

Welsh: But I don't have to play it for the judge. I only have to play it for the deputy director of the FBI.

Stella: That's balckmail, I can't be involved in that.

Ray: Lieutenant, I need interview 1 ASAP.

Welsh: Oh, be my guest, I'm through with it. This guy still here, he doesn't have a home?

Ray: As a matter of fact, no.

Fraser: I'm going to get our friend.

Stanley: Yeah, I'll go with you.

Welsh: wait wait wait, Fraser?

Fraser; it's alright, Lieutenant.


Mort: You know, I've been thinking about the postal workers, and the problem is they don't get any respect. Everybody makes jokes about the mailman.

Fraser: Our mailman used to wrestle grizzly bears.

Mort: Oh. Is he mine?

Fraser: No, he's material evidence in a criminal investigation and I just took the liberty of storing him here earlier.

Mort: Was he dead at that time?

Fraser: Very.

Mort: Oh. Then...(begins to sing)


Stanley: Dead guy running! Dead guy running!

Fraser: Thank you.

Stanley: Dead guy running!

Fraser: Thank you kindly.

[Welsh's office]

Ford: What is it, I'm kinda busy.

Welsh: What happened to you?

Ford: Look, do you want something?

Welsh: Yeah. I want you to leave Kuzma in my jurisdiction. You can have him back when we've finished with him, say 25 years to life.

Ford: Look, we've been through this already, right? Kuzma is a very important witness in an ongoing federal investigation. Now you got something else, because you're wasting my time.

Welsh: As a matter of fact I do.

[Interview 2]

Ford: Pack up, we're outta here.

Dieter: Wht?

Ford: You deaf? Let's go!

Kuzma What's going on?

Ford: You killed a cop. Deal with it.

(Kuzma grabs keys)

Dieter: He's all yours.

(Kuzma bites Dewey.)

Huey: What happened?

Dewey: He bit me! Get the mask!

[Squad room]

Ray: Good. Set it up.

Desk Sergeant: Hey Vecchio! Mr DeNardo here to see you! Listen, Nicky called, and that recipe you gave him? Doesn't work in the microwave.

DeNardo: Ain't a recipe if you gotta put it in the microwave.

Ray: Mr DeNardo? Thanks for dropping by.

DeNardo: Yeah, so what's all this about? Guy said something about stolen supplies?

Ray: Well, I know this is a pain in the butt, but my Lieutenant, he's a stickler for paperwork. He just wants you to sign a statement saying that nothing got stolen from your worksite when you were here.

DeNardo: You gotta be kidding me. Listen, can we make this quick? I'm double parked.

Ray: No problem. Follow me.

DeNardo: What happened to your ear?

Ray: Nothing.

DeNardo: It was a woman, huh?

Ray: Have a seat. You want a coffee, soda?

DeNardo: No, nothing. Like I said, I'm in a bit of a hurry.

Ray: Okay. I'll just go get the forms.

[Interview 2. Fraser in watching DeNardo on the video monitor.]

Ray: Checking his hands.

Fraser: We can give him a few more minutes.

Ray: Have we got that kind of time?

Fraser: I once stood watching an empty cabin for eleven days.

Ray: Did you know it was empty at the time?

Fraser: Not for the first nine days, no.

Ray: Why did you watch it for two more days if you knew it was empty Fraser? Actually, I don't even want to know.

Fraser: Right. How's your ear?

Ray: It's fine. Why?

Fraser: Oh, I was just thinking of a relative of mine, well, distant relative actually, 4th cousin 3 times removed to be exact, Malach Einer was his name. Anyway, one day he had a seashell up to his ear and he was listening to the gentle lapping of the surf when a narwhal poked the surface and shoved the seashell deep into his eardrum, and from that day forward instead of the gentle lapping of the surf he had a rushing torrent raging through his cranium. Relatives.

Ray: Here we go. (DeNardo is moving on screen) Go go go, come on.

Fraser: Close.

Ray:Come on.

Fraser: Closer.

Ray: Aw damn. What what what, where's he going?

Fraser: I could've sworn... This is it.

Ray: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah! We got him there.

[Interview 1. DeNardo is looking under poster.]

Ray: Lose something?

DeNardr: You've got a hole in your dry wall.

Ray: Yeah?

DeNardo: Yeah. You got a problem my friend?

Ray: You got a problem my friend?

DeNardo: Tough guy.

(He turns to leave and sees Fraser with Rankin in the doorway.)

Fraser: Recognise this man?

DeNardo: I don't recognise anybody. I don't need this.

Fraser: Take another look.

DeNardo: I said no. I gotta go back to work.

Ray: Was this guy leaning on you?

Fraser: Was he affecting your business interests?

Ray: Was he shaking you down?

Fraser: Perhaps he was involved with your wife.

Ray: Your daughter maybe?

DeNardo: (Pulls gun) Leave me alone!

Ray: Good answer.

DeNardo: I'll kill them!

Fraser: Mr DeNardo, think about what you are doing. It's impossible to get out of this building.

DeNardo: Shut up, shut up!

Fraser: Perhaps Rankin provoked you. Perhaps you didn't intend to kill him. The fact that you shellaced him, wrapped him up is saran wrap, put him in a wall, dry walled it, taped it, plastered it, sanded it, painted it, maybe that was pure panic. It's understandable. I'm sure it happens every day.

Ford and Dieter: FBI! Freeze!

(They fire. Fraser knocks DeNardo to the ground.)

Ray: Alright, alright! Cease fire! (To Stanley) Are you finished?

Kuzma: I'm walking out of here. Anybody tries to stop me; he's a dead man. (Holds knife to Rankin's throat, then realises he's dead.)

[Squad room]

Stanley: Thanks a lot. Thanks for lettin' me go man. It was a blast.

Ray: That kid, I like that kid.

Fraser: Uh, Ray?

Ray: He's got my badge! (Runs after Stanley)

Frannie: Fraser, I just wanted to thank you.

Fraser Thank you. (Frannie kisses him on cheek)

Fraser Sr: Good work son. Bit unorthodox, but you got your man.

Fraser: I had my doubts.

Fraser Sr: You'd be an idiot not to. One night, in '72 I think it was, Joe Morgan and I were at this dance. Wasn't much of a dance really, just the five of us. In the wee hours, your mother showed up, made me come home. Next morning one of the trapeers at the dance, Randall T. Bold his name was, turned up dead with Joe's knife in his back. I was dispatched to bring in Joe for the murder. Joe said he hadn't done it, said he'd sold that knife a couple of days before to buy me a birthday present. Was the hardest decision I ever made. I let him go.

Fraser: He was innocent?

Fraser Sr: I thought he was, but it turned out later he was guilty as sin. That trapper was sleeping with Joe's wife. Joe killed him in a murderous rage.

Fraser: You know Dad, I'm sorry, but I fail to see how this relates in any way, shape or form to my situation.

Fraser Sr: Well it doesn't relate exactly, except that sometimes a man's got to get things off his chest, do you mind?

Fraser: Not really.

Fraser Sr: Wait till you're dead.

Fraser: Alright.



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