Mother: Ok, ready. Let's go. Let mommy just open the door.

[Eddie's apartment]

Louis: Hey, you see this guys bathroom? Got a marble toilet seat.

Huey: Italian marble huh? For a psycho Eddie's got good taste.

Louis: Yeah but in the winter, isn't it a bit cold?

Ray: Oh hello boys. Ain't it past your bedtime?

Huey: There's no list Vecchio. You wasted my evening.

Louis: Yeah, you wasted our evening.

Ray: Well, I don't think I wasted your entire evening. Chucky Cheese is open till midnight isn't it?

[Duck Boys leave and Ray searches around. Janice shows up, loading her purse with watches]

Ray: Mistake. That was platinum.

Janice: Oh really. So how much is it worth?

Ray: About six months.

Janice: Hey come on. I'm his sister.

Ray: Dump it out. Come on empty it. Sister huh?

Janice: Okay, I'm not his sister. I'm his housekeeper.

Ray: Done a fine job of tidying up.

Janice: Thank you.

Ray: Got a license Hazel?

Janice: Oh god, you know what? I left it in my apron.

Ray: I hate when that happens. Get it out. [she hits him in the head with a bottle, steals his watch and leaves]

[tour bus chased by the Mountie]

Bus Tour: Coming up on your left Chicago's famous Water Tower. Built in 1869 and one of the only buildings to survive the great fires of 1871 which destroyed four square miles of Chicago killing over three hundred and leaving ninety thousand homeless...now toward...Grant Park. If you look quickly to your right you might catch a glimpse of the State of Illinois center...

Christina: What are you looking for?

Cute Tourist: The Tower Water

Christina: Oh we just past the Tower Water.

Christina: Chicago, born and raised.

Cute Tourist: Chicago, My kind of town.

Christina: You need some help.

Cute Tourist: Would you?

Christina: Yeah!

[Fraser stops running, turns around and jumps on the front of the truck behind it]

Fraser: Could you follow that bus please? Thank you.

Christina: You want to hear something funny? I knew I was going to meet someone like you tonight.

Cute Tourist: Latvian?

Fraser: Yeah.

Cute Tourist: Is it so?

Bus Tour: ...thank you for traveling with Windy City Tour.

Cute Tourist: It was uh, very nice meeting you. I must go. [leaves the bus, so does Christina and Eddie...Fraser jumps onto the bus too late]

[to the couple making out on bus]Fraser: Please continue.

Mother [who notices the matchbook and tosses them out the window]: Don't put those in your mouth honey. Where'd you get those? Huh? [Where a young man steps on them and carries them off with him...past Christina. He goes into the apartment store...so does Christina...and Eddie]

Fraser: Christina!

[how he figures out where she went is beyond me, but is there in time to see her shoplift]

Fraser: Excuse me. Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.

Fraser: Hello.

Christina: What are you following me?

Fraser: I think they're too expensive.

Christina: What?

Fraser: Those earrings you were thinking about.

Christina: How would you know.

Fraser: Well I wouldn't but I just noticed those two girls decided not to buy them so I guess they thought they cost too much. I'm not sure he would agree though. I have a feeling he's interested in them because he's been watching those two girls very closely as a matter of fact, I think he's going to ask them.

Christina: Ask them what?

Fraser: If they're worth the price.

Christina: I thought I had to make these decisions for myself.

Fraser: And so you do. Will you excuse me. I saw something over there that Diefenbaker might like.

Fraser: Excuse me, I'm looking for something unusual for my wolf.

Fraser: Aren't just...I didn't think um....

Clerk [showing him a bra]: Too small?

[Christina knocks over a display, rescuing Fraser from talking to the clerk] Fraser: Oh dear.

Christina: I'm really sorry.

Fraser: It's alright. I'll just quickly grab these things.

Clerk: Let me help you.

Fraser: Uh, Chris--oh dear...um...will you excuse me.

Christina: Uh, yeah.

Security: Stop right there! [No, not the shoplifting girls but the guy with the matches] No smoking in the store. [he now has the matchbook] Good night ladies.

Fraser: Excuse me you wouldn't have seen uh....

[in elevator]Eddie: Give it to me!

Christina: Leave me alone. Stop it.

Eddie: Shut up.

[Fraser up the escalator]

Fraser: Excuse me sir. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Excuse me ma'am.

Fraser: Pardon me....

[Eddie dumps her purse. Christina on the floor crying. Threatens her with a knife as elevator now goes down. Fraser uses a tobagan to go quickly down escalator]

Eddie: Okay, get up.

Christina: Stop it. Help.

Eddie: Where the hell is it?

Fraser: Excuse me.

Eddie: What have you done with it! [elevator opens, she scratches him and runs. he catches her, sees Fraser and throws her over the rail where she hangs onto the edge. Fraser recues her, letting Eddie get away. The crowd cheers]

[hotel]

Ray: All I'm saying is it makes me look like an idiot. Here I am looking all over town for Eddie Beets and the whole time you know where he is.

Fraser: What's wrong with your head.

Ray: There's nothing wrong with my head. Just tell me about Beets.

Fraser: He didn't say anything else to you on the elevator? He just took your purse?

Christina: If he'd told me what he wanted I would have given it to him. I can't find my key. Did you see it in the car?

Mrs. McGuffy: I'll get it for you deary.

Fraser: Well thank you kindly ma'am. You're sure this is the purse you had at the club?

Christina: Yes.

[looks thru purse] Ray: You see anything that looks like a list? You know something small. Like a black book or a computer disk?

Christina: I dumped everything out right there. If it's not there, I don't have it.

Machine: You have one new message.

Ambassidor: Hi Christina it's dad. I guess you're asleep. I knocked on your door before but you didn't answer. Anyway, get your rest, we have a big event tomorrow night. I think the Ambassador's son has taken a shine to you. Love you.

Fraser: I don't suppose there was pockets in that dress that you...oh I'm sorry.

Christina: Here. Check it all you want. There's no little black book no list. Nothing. You know I really wish everybody would stop making such a big deal about this. Maybe he just has a thing about purses. How am I suppose to know. Look, I don't know what's going on. I don't know if this Eddie guy did want something from me or if he didn't. The point is he didn't get anything because I didn't have anything to give him. He has no reason to come after me again.

Fraser: Still. Just to be safe.

Christina: Oh, Chicago. I've spent my whole life being safe. For once in my life I want to do what I want to do. And what I want to do is go to sleep.

Christina: This is really unfair.

[27th precinct]

Elaine: You know I could have been on a date when you called. I do have a life you know.

Fraser: We appreciate you coming in Elaine.

Ray: Did they photograph everyone we brought in?

Elaine: Booked and released. I can't believe you actually charged those people.

Ray: Gotta maintain the public morals Elaine.

Fraser: You still think the club is the connection?

Ray: Yeah. Somehow Miss Muffet here got a hold of something Eddie wants. The only place they could have crossed paths was at the club.

Elaine: Eddie was in there. I think someone would have noticed.

Ray: It's not him I'm looking for. I'm looking for his sister. I caught her snagging jewelry from his apartment. If she was ripping him off then she probably ripped him off before.

Elaine: Nice family.

Ray: Yeah. She also claims to be his housekeeper, but I have reason to doubt her credentials. Not here.

Ray: Her jaw was smaller.

Elaine: Someone asked me out. This man has been after me for months and I said no I want to get my sleep. Next time I'm going to say yes. I mean, you can't keep someone waiting forever now can you?

Fraser: Well no. that would be unfair.

Ray: You want to concentrate here Elaine? Every sketch you do looks like Fraser in drag.

Christina: You know, Chicago, I am having such a great time. You really should consider doing this tour thing professionally. [Fraser shows her the sketch he just did with his eyes closed]

Christina: That's the woman in the bathroom.

[from Elaine's computer drawing] Ray: That's her. All she needs is a name and this little piggy does hard time.

[Riv]

Ray: Yeah and if she's Eddies sister, I'm starting to understand how he grew up to be a psychopath.

Fraser: You know I could be wrong but I sense something very personal in your motivation.

Ray: Nothing personal Fraser, she's just the kind of woman I'd like to see spend the rest of her life behind bars.

Fraser: Do you have the time Ray?

Ray: No.

Fraser: Weren't you wearing a watch earlier?

Ray: No.

[sitting at outdoor cafe] Security: So I jump on a toboggan, race down the escalator and save the girls life.

Woman: Wow. I never realized department security could be so--

Security: Let me fix this. [uses matches under the wobbly leg]

[S&M Club]

[thru a bull horn] Ray: Alright we're back. This is a raid. [greeted with applause]

Fraser: And this is for your own good. [handcuffs Christina then to woman] Oh uh thank you for the loan.

Woman: Anything else you need, just ask.

Fraser: Hello. Nice to see you again. Beautiful stitching. How you been.

Ray: Okay, we need some information. You're all grownups here you know how this works. We can either do this the easy way or the hard way.

Dentist: The hard way, do it the hard way.

Ray: Shut up. Now I don't want to drag everyone downtown. I don't want to get rough.

Dentist: Get rough! Get rough!

Ray: Will you stop that.

Dominatrix: Like to see him try that with me.

Ray: I said shut up.

Dentist: He's all talk and no action.

Fraser: Look, I'm not gonna warn you again.

Dentist: See? Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.

Dominatrix: It's pathetic.

Ray: Alright Miss Nogahide, it's you and me outside.

Dominatrix: Touch me and I sue you blind.

Ray: Call your attorney.

Dominatrix: I am an attorney. Half the people here are attorneys.

Dentist: I'm a dentist.

Ray: Oh yeah, big surprise.

Fraser: Fraser, Fraser. Can I have a word with you? I think if we were to be nice to these people then they would cooperate. Ray: Nice? You cannot be nice to these people.

Cuff girl: Are those real? [necklace]

Christina: Uh, yeah. Uh this? Yeah.

Cuff girl: so how much are they worth?

Fraser: What I mean ray is if you treat people with respect more often than not they'll respond accordingly.

Ray: You know there's a certain point you have to stop calling yourself a cop.

Bartender: He's right you know.

Ray: What do you know.

Bartender: I know that people are people no matter how much leather they wear.

Ray: Oh please. I'm gonna go throw up some place.

Fraser: It's at least worth a try isn't it?

Ray: alright.

Ray: I am asking you for your help.

Dominatrix: Eat glass.

Ray: Alright, that's it.

Fraser: Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray.

Ray: I'm talking to you one human being to another.

Dominatrix: You have a very high opinion of yourself.

Fraser: Madame DeFare, Detective Vecchio and I are on the trail of a particularly brutal killer and we'd be most appreciative of any assistance you could give us.

Dominatrix: Make him say please.

Fraser: Ray.

Ray: I'm not gonna say it.

Fraser: Ray.

Ray: No.

Fraser: Ray.

Ray: No.

Fraser: Ray.

Ray: Pleeze.

Dominatrix: Pretty please.

Ray: That's it.

Fraser: You know he really is trying his very best.

Dominatrix: Alright. Alright. Show me the photographs. Janice Deluca.

Ray: Where does she live?

Dominatrix: With her grandmother.

Fraser: We appreciate your assistance and I would just like to thank eve-- [sees Christina is gone again]

[street]

Fraser: You really have to stop this. You know I ran away once when I was your age.

Christina: Tell me another one.

Fraser: No, I did. In my case it was different. I thought I'd done something that no one could forgive. It didn't take long for my father to find me. But you know, instead of lecturing me, he offered me some food and some money. He said I could keep running if I wanted to but that I would always feel ashamed. On the other hand, if I went back and faced the consequewnces, I would be a man and everyone would know it without me having to tell them.

Chistina: So what happened?

Fraser: Oh, I took the money and ran. No. I went back, but it wasn't easy. Of course, my situation was different that yours. I was running away from my problems, not at all like you.

Christina: What were you running away from?

Fraser: Oh, it was a very tortured scenario. It invlolved a goldmine, a boomerang and a tank full of gasoline. It's all ancient history though.

Elaine: Eddie was booked three months ago but the charges wouldn't stick. Meantime he had someone come bail him out in the middle of the night. You want a name?

Ray: Janice Deluca?

Eee: If you knew why did you ask.

Ray: What's in her jacket?

Eee: Uh, Priors for posession and assault. Hmmm, I bet you didn't know this.

Ray: Try me.

Eee: She's Frank Collebis' girlfriend. At least she was until he took a knife in the back last night.

Ray: And she bailed out Eddie in the middle of the night? Sounds very cozy.

Fraser: You have an address Elain?

Eee: Yeah. 3-6-7 North Winchester near Chicago Ave.

Fraser: Thank you kindly.

Girl: Yeah, well maybe just for a coffee.

Woman: The candle went out.

Man: I'll get it.

Woman: I love candles. They're so...hot.

Eddie: It's not enough. You have to take everything I own but you have to break my heart too?

Janice: Listen we can work this out, ok?

Eddie: the girl don't have it Janice. Which means you do.

Janice: No, Eddie, I swear to God I put it in her purse. In the bathroom.

Eddie: Yeah. You know what I think honey? I think that I'm gonna enjoy this.

Ray: Well it looks like the three bears got here before we did.

Fraser: Stay here.

Fraser: Stay by the door. I said, don't move.

Christina: Alright.

Ray: How long can a fish live in that much water?

Fraser: He's still here. Christina.

Janice: My God. You killed him!

Christina: I what?

Janice: He's dead. You killed him.

Christina: Can you help me please? Please?

Lady of Night: why don't you get your own trix honey.

Man: Need help darling? Why don't you come with Thomas.

Christina: No.

Christina: Chicago!

Janice: I don't think you want to be out here on your own. Okay?

Ray: Why the hell would she run?

Fraser: She's afraid Ray.

Ray: It doesn't make any sense.

Fraser: Fear never does.

Janice: I don't have any kleenex.

Christina: That's okay. God is he really dead?

Janice: Yeah. Look Eddie was a real son-of-a-bitch. He desearved worst. Being his girlfriend I know this. Okay, you go to the cops-

Christina: Oh my God. my father!

Janice: You'll get a slick lawyer. I'm sure he can get you manslaughter.

Christina: Really, he tried to kill me. It was self-defense.

Janice: Did he have a knife on you? Did he have a gun at your head?

Christina: No but-

Janice: Did he have any kind of weapon at all?

Christina: No.

Janice: Well then you can't prove that he was going to do anything other than slap you around.

Christina: What are you talking about?

Janice: Okay, you kill a guy because he's slapping you around that's manslaughter. Okay, look, why don't you call your dad.

Christina: No, no, I can't. I can't. taxi: 8430

Janice: okay, okay, maybe it'll be okay.

Christina: How?

Janice: One thing I know is the cops. Now if you give them something, they'll give you something.

Christina: What do I have to give them?

Janice: Frankie's list. The match book. You give them that and I'll bet they'll cut you a break.

Christina: Matchbook? This is all about a stupic matchbook?

Janice: Don't be stupid, this is about power. Whoever has that list can name their price. Now listen, do you know where it is? Do you know anything? Come on, do you remember?

Christina: Kleenex. There was a matchbook in the kleenex. When I dumped out my purse at the hotel.

Janice: Well then we're okay. Come on. Taxi!

Gerome: Hey how you doing young lady, you having a good time?

Ray: Heads up.

Taxi Driver: Oh no, not again.

Fraser: Taxi!

Taxi Driver: No way.

Man: the nearest hotel. Quickly.

Taxi Driver: Do you have a lite? Jeeze, I've got to cut down. Here. Thanks.

Ray: How do you know they're going to the hotel?

Fraser: Because that's where the list is.

Ray: We searched the entire room.

Fraser: If it was at the club, janice would have gone back fro it. Eddie was after the purse and Christina dumped the purse out in her hotel room. It's the only place it could be.

Ray: It's not there.

Fraser: Not now but it was and if Eddie didn't take it and Janice didn['t take it then somebody else must have taken it.

Ray: There's no one else. We're all out of bad guys.

Fraser: Tissues, Ray. She had tissues in her purse. She wiped her lipstick off with it when I walked her to her room. Where were the tissues?

Ray: We're hunting tissues now?

Christina: It's not here.

Woman: do you have any candles?

Christina: How did you get these?

Janice: Look kid, I am losing my patience where is it! You have one chance to live. Come on.

Christina: Housekeeper. The housekeeper she was cleaning my room.

Janice: Okay, okay, come on.

Fraser: Ah.

Janice: Hey.

Housekeeper: what?

Janice: What does this go to?

Housekeeper: What?

Janice: The trash, where dies it go.

Housekeeper: To the basement.

Janice: Come on. Move it.

Woman: Thanks for the candle.

Houskeeper: No trouble at all.

Fraser: There's nothing here. The housekeeper.

Ray: Hey Fraser.

Fraser: Now where did they go?

Housekeeper: The basement?

Ray: Does the public elevators go down there?

Housekeeper: No, just this one.

Fraser: Ray.

Fraser: No, we are eighteen floors up.

Fraser: Just hold your elbows out at the side, it'll slow your descent.

Ray: My descent! Fraser, you cannot go down there without back up. Ah, the most annoying man in the world.

Ray: Ahhhh! I'm stuck.

Christina: I can't find them.

Janice: Well just keep looking.

Fraser: You are under arr-oh dear.

Ray: Pull it. Pull it. That's my foot. Pull it. Pull it. Ah. Oh-jeeze. Thank you very much.

Fraser: Run.

Janice: Where are the matches?

Fraser: I have no idea.

Janice: I don't want that answer, I want to know where they are.

Fraser: Well you're really talking to the wrong person.

Janice: Hear that little girl? Your little red friend here is dead.

Fraser: She doesn't know where they are either.

Janice: I have no further use for you.

Christina: You can't hurt him.

Fraser: Run.

Christina: No.

Janice: come here.

Fraser: I said run.

Christina: You told me to stop running.

Fraser: Yes but I was talking about running away from the problems with your father. This is about running away from somebody who might probably will shoot you. That is an entirely different thing.

Christina: I did this. This is my problem and I'm not running.

Janice: You want to die kid?

Fraser: You can't shoot her.

Janice: Watch me.

Fraser: Oh no, that's a 9mm Baretta. It caries a 15 round clip. You've already shot 14 times.

Janice: No.

Fraser: No, you have honestly. Follow this through. Six in the incenarary, seven in the corridors, one just-

Janice: Alright! Alright!

Fraser: What this basically means is you have one bullet left and then you're defenseless. Now I don't think you can aford to use it on her so she's gonna walk away now.

Christina: No I'm not.

Fraser: Have you ever said something you truly regretted?

Christina: I can't leave you here.

Christina: I'll trade you for him.

Janice: Throw em over here.

Christina: What am I stupid?

Janice: I said throw em over here kid. Now.

Fraser: Well I don't think she likes being called kid.

Christina: Alright, you let him walk away or I eat it.

Janice: What?

Fraser: Would you please run?

Christina: Can't. too scared. Choose.

Janice: Throw or I shoot.

Christina: Fine, I'm eating it.

Janice: You put that in your mouth and he's dead.

Christina: Chicago? What do I do?

Fraser: Oh go ahead and eat it.

Fraser: Nice bluff.

Christina: Thank you.

Janice: Goodbye Red.

Ray: Ohhhhh!

Fraser: Perfect taticle delay Ray.

Ray: Yeah, Thank you very much Fraser.

Fraser: The list.

Christina: Good night.

Fraser: Good night Ray.

Ray: Good night Benny.

Fraser: Ma'am.

Fraser: So where's my watch.

Christina: Uh, goodnight Chicago.

Fraser: Goodnight. Oh you know I never asked you. Why do you call me Chicago?

Christina: Oh well, there's somebody to babysit me in each city and it's a lot easier than remembering names.

Fraser: Ah. Goodnight.

Christina: Night.

Fraser: Dief, no. No, Dief.

Christina: Hi.

Fraser: Oh. What am I uh...oh!

Christina: Perfect staff they got here. Come on or we're gonna be late. You don't expect me to go to the ball without an escort do you?

Fraser: Well I'd love to but I think if I showed up your father would have me cashiered.

Christina: We've all got choices to make Fraser.

Fraser: Fraser?

Christina: Coming?

Fraser: Go ahead.

Ambassador: Look. You look just like your mother. May I have the honor?

Pearce: Where'd you learn to dance like that?

Welsh: It's all part of this job.

Louis: It's completely unfair. We make one mistake and we're on security detail.

Huey: Louis. Did I tell you to open your big mouth? Did I tell you to swear on your honor the matches didn't exist?

Louis: At least I had a good suit.

Huey: You own that?

Louis: What? You think they rent things like this?

Huey: I think that I don't want to stand next to you.

Lady: Like your suit.

Louis: Thanks, ma'am.

Ambassador: The American Ambassador's son has been waiting to dance with you all night. I told him to bug off. You had a boyfriend.

Christina: Oh well it's okay. I've actually been looking forward to dancing with him.

Ray: Hey.

Fraser: Hey!

Ray: So Welsh finally gives me the day off for solving the biggest case in my career and I'm delivering casual wear.

Fraser: I'm confused Ray. I didn't call you.

Ray: Aw put it on, I'm taking you out. We're celebrating.

Fraser: Alright.

Ray: So everything worked out with Miss Muffet?

Fraser: Oh I hope so.

Ray: She gonna run away again?

Fraser: Oh probably. But you know sometimes if you stand still the world comes to you.

Ambassador: There he is. I promised the Lapian Ambassador I'd spend sometime with him tonight.

Christina: Him?

Ambassador: Nope. It's just you and me tonight kiddo.

Christina: No. I mean we could go out with them - uh, him.

Ambassador: I couldn't ask you to do that.

Christina: Ask me.

Ambassador: No sweetie. We haven't seen each other at all. I haven't spent any time with you. I want to be with you. I wanna spend time with you.

Christina: Dad, I understand that sometimes I'm gonna need to do stuff like this. You know. It's something I'm going to accept.

That's okay.

I'll get the car.

End